'Retired' Unlikely Calculations

I used these calculations for birthday messages to my electronic friends. "A Giant Red wood tree can increase its girth by more than 91 cm between your birthdays. It can do this every year for the circa 150 years of its life, meaning that it can be more than 136 meters wide when it dies, so long as it doesn’t disappear in a fire. The Plough snail (Bullia digitalis) is probably the world’s fastest snail. It uses its foot as a sail in the sea but can also do a respectable 2.5cm per second on the sand as it closes on its prey. If a sand-based snail kept up its maximum speed, without stopping, for the time between your birthdays, it could do the equivalent of 188 marathons. Between your birthdays, the underground branching hyphae of some mushrooms, can add a total length that is roughly equivalent to the distance between Swansea and Belfast. If all the spores of a single Giant puffball (Calvatia gigantea) managed to fully grow, in 3-4 weeks, they could exceed the mass of about 1,000,000,000 large Blue whales. Just think of the mushroom mass that could grow between one birthday and the next! The strangely named Edible golden silk spider (Nephila edulis) can spin 400 mm of silk per second. If it could do this for the entire time between your birthdays, the thread would almost reach from Swansea to Australia. An Andean salamander is thought to be the fastest amphibian swimmer (around 15 mph). If it could keep up this speed for the entire time between your birthdays, it could travel around the Earth’s equator more than 5 times. The Orca is the fastest marine Mammal when swimming underwater (around 36 kph). If it could do this for the entire time between your birthdays (it would have to come up for air), it could travel almost 8 times round the Earth’s equator. Mycorhizzal hyphae of fungi rapidly regrow between 10 and 60 times per year. Over a million years, their cumulative length (4.8 x 10 to the power of 10 light years) would exceed the diameter of the known Universe (Merlin Sheldrake Entangled Life). The Universe is rapidly expanding and I haven’t checked his calculation." They are, in many cases, very unrealistic but people might find them intriguing?